When we got pregnant, I had an idea in my mind of how things would go when it was time for delivery and the weeks following.  My whole life I’ve anticipated my parents coming down  and spending those first few days or weeks with us as we acclimate to life as new parents. They would dote on their grandchild, help us cook dinner, watch her while we napped, and just be there.  I know we’d be capable on our own, but there’s something reassuring about your parents support and help.

Last year, my mom was diagnosed with leukemia.  In the past few months, it’s gotten more aggressive, leading her to enter chemotherapy sooner than we expected.  Initially, the chemo was going well, but after the second and third rounds she was hospitalized for weeks at a time, including the most recent stint at three weeks and five days.

Today, my parents met with her oncologist to discuss next steps.  The type of chemo she was having is now off of the table.  It’s just too harsh and she’s not responding that well.  So, there’s a new plan of attack and that includes new medicine starting next week.  She’ll be hospitalized for five days at a time during chemo just in case she responds poorly, and then she’ll have 21 days of rest between treatments to go home and recover and gain strength before the next round.  The doctor expects 2-3 cycles of the new chemo, and then, she’ll have a stem cell transplant, which is expected to be a relatively uncomfortable recovery that lasts quite some time.

There’s no time to take an extended break between treatment, as time is of the essence.

The timing of course does not go well with our due date at the end of July.  If all goes to plan, I’ll likely be delivering Gracie around the same time that she’s wrapping up her last chemo cycle and/or starting the stem cell transplant process.

The vision of my parents being here when Grace arrives is suddenly gone.

So, this brings me back to adapting to change.  I was talking to both of my parents this afternoon, and they knew I was disappointed that things weren’t going the way I imagined.   And you know what, if I’m honest, they’re right.  And I think it’s fair to say that they’re equally as disappointed.  However, I’m not so big of a selfish asshole to realize that it’s out of everyones control.  Grace’s due date is out of my control.  My moms chemo schedule is out of her control.  It is what it is.  It’s not what any of us expected or want, but it just is what it is.  I know they’d be here if there were any physical way possible, but obviously the treatment takes priority.  We’ll rely on facetime and phone calls, and hopefully they’ll be able to visit shortly after she arrives. Or, maybe we’ll be really brave and haul our newborn and all of her crap up to VA early on if they can’t make it down to us.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared of us being alone in those first few days and weeks.  I’m an only child and I wasn’t around babies or children growing up.  It’s all incredibly foreign to me, which might sound ridiculous, but it’s my truth.  I keep telling myself that Chris and I are totally capable of taking care of her, and we’ll be fine.  It’s just intimidating as hell.  Thankfully, Chris is pretty confident around kids and babies – we’re just going to have to figure it out together; intimidating or not.

So that’s it.  It’s nothing any of us expected or envisioned, but as Tim Gunn would say, it’s a “make it work” moment.  I’m sure we’re not the only ones to experience this exact scenario, and we’ll be okay.  Chris and I will figure it out as we go, and Gracie will be just fine.  The important thing is Grace and my mom are healthy, and if that means it has to go this way, then so be it.   The rest will fall into place later.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much our lives are going to change in the very near future.  And, I’ve been thinking a lot about the story of us.  After 15 years of friendship, something happened, and suddenly, we were in love.  I love our story, and I can’t wait for the new chapter, with our new addition, little Gracie.  So, here’s our story, so far… I love you forever and ever.

We started dating in late 2009:

And we had a pretty great first year:

Halfway through our second year, your proposed at my favorite place:

And then a few months later, we got married:

We went on our honeymoon, and on a catamaran in the middle of the Caribbean Sea, you shocked me, saying you were ready for a baby.  We captured the moment a few seconds later:

And then, 13 long months later, this happened:

After containing our excitement for a few months, we were finally ready to share with the world:

And now, here we are.  Just a few months away from meeting our daughter.  Our lives will forever be changed, but there’s nobody else in the world I’d rather experience all of this with.  I am lucky.  Grace is lucky.  And I hope she makes our story that much more amazing.

XOXO.

We’re so grateful & appreciative for all of the love we received at our baby shower, and we can’t wait for Gracie to meet everyone.  :)

Pink Dress with Bloomers

Blue Smocked Dress

Smocked Collar Dress

Checkered Purple Dress

Seersucker Dress (I die over anything seersucker for baby!!)

Spending a big chunk of my childhood in Germany, I’m also partial to Benetton, Esprit & Zara, so I love these, too!

Blue Gingham Dress by Benetton

Fancy Denim Dress by Esprit

Striped Dress by Benetton

Printed Dress by Zara

A girl can dream, right?

]]> http://nataliegracie.com/2013/03/24/european-influence/feed/ 2 nataliegracie Belk Belk (1) Untitled dedd2899-cd07-4284-8cf0-9b3cc7447e26_600 Untitled` _7720553 Q38131_901 _7720776 1088924600_1_1_1 http://nataliegracie.com/2013/03/10/a-favorite-moment/ http://nataliegracie.com/2013/03/10/a-favorite-moment/#comments Mon, 11 Mar 2013 00:20:40 +0000 nataliegracie http://nataliegracie.com/?p=5500 Continue reading →]]> Chris and I have been married for almost a year and a half, and every now and then, a memory from that day flies into my head and I remember exactly how I felt.

One of my favorite moments from the day was when Chris came to the bridal suite on the property just moments before the ceremony was supposed to start to take a planned picture.  I remember arriving to the venue with my favorite girls and being SO READY to walk down the aisle.  I remember my dad coming over to the bridal suite and me asking him to get Chris for the picture I was most excited about.  I remember talking to the girls, asking if Chris was coming, if he could see me in the mirror in the room, and then hearing him ask if I was ready.

Then, I remember our photographer telling us each to put our backs to the door, and I vividly remember Chris’ hand reaching around the door, and me grabbing it tightly.

I love these pictures because it was the last moment before we became Mr. & Mrs.  We were both so excited, so anxious and so giddy.  I see us, and I realize that we had no idea the adventure that we were about to embark upon.  But ultimately, I know everything’s going to be okay, as long as we hold onto each other like we did in this moment.

I’m a music fan.  A big music fan at that, and Dave directed an amazing piece of work that is “Sound City.”  The movie focuses on an elusive sound board in an unassuming studio and the music that was made by some of the most historic bands of our time.  The sound board created history, and Dave, with a little help from some of his most talented friends,  tells the story quite well.

If you’re a music fan, I highly recommend you check it out:

Thank you for surprising me at work today with the most beautiful flowers.  I love that you always take the time to go to a florist, and don’t wait until the last minute and grab wilted red roses from the grocery store.  I also love that whenever you buy me flowers, you are sure to include our wedding flower (white hydrangea) in the bouquet.  My most favorite thing though, is that you hand delivered them to my office, which was completely unexpected.  Seeing you in the lobby holding the bouquet with a big smile truly made my day.  You sure do know how to make a girl swoon.

A friend recommended I dry the flowers and have them pressed to hang in our baby girls nursery.  I think that’s a lovely idea.  :)

Just take a look for yourself – I’m obsessed with the things below.  :)

1.H&M Dress,  2.  Jamie Rae Headband 3.  Zara Dress 4.  Ruffled Bloomers
5.Old Navy Bubble Onesie 6.  Babylegs Legwarmers 7.  Jamie Rae Headband

1.Old Navy Sundress 2.  Baby Sperrys 3.  Gap Bow Top 4.  Gap Striped One Piece
5.  Ruffled Bloomers 6.  Old Navy Pants 7.  Tiny Toms

]]> http://nataliegracie.com/2013/02/12/pink-ruffles-bows/feed/ 0 nataliegracie baby collage baby collage 2 http://nataliegracie.com/2013/02/02/the-day-that-changed-our-lives/ http://nataliegracie.com/2013/02/02/the-day-that-changed-our-lives/#comments Sun, 03 Feb 2013 00:25:12 +0000 nataliegracie http://nataliegracie.com/?p=5241 Continue reading →]]> I knew today was going to be big, but I don’t think I was prepared for just how much finding out our babies gender was going to rock our world.

Today, we found out we’re having a girl!!!  Cue an explosion of pink confetti and glitter!!  We are so excited!

The first part of the ultrasound was amazing because we got to hear the heartbeat for the very first time.  I almost cried, I’m not going to lie.  It was incredibly overwhelming, and as always, a flood of relief came over me as soon as we heard and saw the heartbeat.

After listening to the heartbeat, we settled in for watching the rest of the ultrasound in hopes of the technician finding out the gender.  Before she could confirm anything, she showed us the baby sucking  her thumb, stretching, yawning, having the hiccups, and kicking like crazy.  As she went to determine the gender, she flipped over on her side and shut her legs!

So, I drank some orange juice and ate a super sweet chocolate cake pop, as well as walked around the room for about five minutes and then laid back down.  Sure enough, the sugar was enough to get her to roll back over on her back, and low and behold, she was able to identify her as a girl within a minute.

I think my heart stopped when she said “it’s a girl.”  That moment is overwhelming in the best way possible.  Suddenly, shit gets real.  Like, really real.  I had visions of Chris with her, doing her hair, and dragging her to all sorts of sporting events.  Visions of pink bedrooms, adorable clothes, pig tails and endless other girly things.

Chris was stunned.  Beaming, but stunned.  We’re ecstatic at this point, and we were so excited to share the news with the rest of the family.  EVERYONE thought the baby was going to be a girl, and EVERYONE was right.  We captured our immediate families reactions as we spilled the good news, and I’m so glad we did:

Also, I should say that immediately after finding out she’s a girl, we went to go buy our first girly thing, and of course, I went straight for the tutu’s.  A girl can never have too many tutu’s!!

We’re all so excited, and now, Chris and I need to get cracking on some names!  We can’t wait to meet our little girl.  :)

My sister in law sent me these pictures of Chris holding him for the first time just a few hours after he was born.  I can almost see Linds smiling on the other side of the camera, so happy to see her big brother holding her son. 

I can’t believe in six months, Chris will be holding our baby.  Seeing Chris hold Benny just melts my heart; I might just die all together when I see him hold Baby Goods.  :)